Title: Back to the start
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jack/Kate
Summary: What could happen after season 3 finale? What happened on the island before that?

I am writing this fanfiction because I am so in love with Jack and Kate and after season finale I’ve been sad for a while but my mind has elaborated something, so I’d like to put it on paper.

The story takes place in the moment Kate and Jack are leaving after Jack said he wanted come back to the island.
Status: First chapter
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, I’d like to own Jack and Kate tho lol

Special Thanks: to all the Jaters from all over the world, but especially to the fanforum girls and my friends Kiki, Cri and Mary because they keep on hoping, have faith and spend undeniable hours talking with me about  THE ship. Another special thank goes to Tna Tubby who beta read my work.

Chapter one

Things to Fix

It started to rain. That night was already horrible and but the rain made it more awful. Kate could hear Jack screaming her name but she had to go home, he was waiting for her. She kept driving faster and faster, silent tears going down her face. Kate couldn’t help it. It was just so sad; she shouldn’t have come.

After coming back to L. A. they met just once, what happened on the island was too hard to forget and neither Kate nor Jack were ready to go on. Kate was worried for Jack though, he looked really really bad and his words sounded crazy.

“Going back to the island? What the hell was he saying?” she thought.

Suddenly a cat appeared in front of her and she had to brake fast. The car stopped immediately, the cat ran away and Kate hit her forehead on the steering-wheel.

“Jack…” she groaned.

She turned on the radio, trying to distract for a while, but she got the opposite effect. A love song was playing…

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start.
Running in circles, chasing tails,
And coming back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
oh its such a shame for us to part.

No-one ever said it would be this hard,
Oh take me back to the start.

Kate started sobbing, tears came down faster. She put a hand on her face to close her eyes; her head was hurting so much. She was cold even if it was a wet night. Kate used to think she was ready to forget Jack, to go on with her new life. She had a new job, a man who loved her, a big house and a puppy dog in the garden. Gosh, many women would kill to have those things all in at once! But she was different. The time spent on the island had changed her. She knew that her life would never been the same again after the plane crash.

Kate turned the car off and waited to feel better. She couldn’t go back home in those conditions. He would be surprised if she arrived crying. The radio continued to play the song and she closed her eyes: as she closed them, she remembered their first kiss, the moment she found him and...

“Damn it, Kate! Stop with that!” she whispered to herself, turning the car on again.

“It’s over, I won’t meet him again” Kate continued to whisper, in an attempt to make herself feel better “I... I just can’t...”

Kate drove slowly home and then when she arrived, the light outside was alight. Sam, the puppy, was sleeping in his doghouse. His car parked on the street. Everything as it was. Her life, the life she wanted and would not give up on.

She looked at the mirror in the car, wiped away the tears, took a long breath and jumped out of the car. Kate was ready to get in and forget what just happened.

“Kate, please!” he was screaming “Kate, wait!”

It seemed like she couldn’t listen him because she was driving away.

“Just... please...” Jack fell down on his knees, his face in his hands “We have to go back!” he screamed.

Nothing. Kate’s car was too far now, running under the rain.

Jack turned back and went in his own car. It was such a mess inside: some empty tequila bottles, old papers, ash, tissue packets, a  half grilled sandwich and even a scrub.

He sat and started driving with one hand, the other was carrying a half full tequila bottle. The rain fell strong and heavy, he was tired and destroyed for what had just happened. Jack thought Kate would have done something different instead of  running away, ignoring him.

“Where is the Kate I used to know?” he asked himself, unable to find an answer.

Jack started thinking about his life.  After coming back home he started to be a surgeon again. Doctors organized a huge welcome party for him but he felt different. The world wasn’t the same as when he left.  Work started to suck so he started drinking to go on with the day and used all the free flights. He did want his plane to crash, but no one crashed.

Was it destiny? Staying on an island for more than one year, coming back home and wanting to return there?

He didn’t know exactly the reasons why he wanted to come back but he knew it was the right thing to do.

On the island he met her, maybe coming back he would be able to change things. After all, what happened was all his fault. Kate wasn’t responsible for that. He had to fix the situation, but from that day Kate changed.  She just left, disappointed and wounded from the man she thought she was in love with.

The silence inside the vehicle was killing him.  His mind needed some rest from the memories so he turned on the radio.

The first station was airing a football match but he wasn’t a fan of sports. On the second one there was a song, a song that represented his situation so well...

Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry,
You don’t know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh, lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, coming in tales,
Heads are a science apart.

Spontaneous tears ran down his checks. He stopped the car and put his forehead on the steering-wheel, complaining disconnected words. His heart was beating faster and faster due to the alcohol he had in his body.

“Kate…” he groaned.

He didn’t know that five kilometres in the opposite way, Kate was doing the very same thing: groaning his name and crying for him.

Jack had to talk to the woman he still loved. He took the phone and dialled her number.

“Hello, it’s Kate. I’m not here. If you…”

“Damn it!” he said, throwing away the phone.

“Kate, why don’t you understand? I…” he couldn’t go on with the sentence.

Jack turned on the car and started to drive again. He didn’t want to go home, nobody was waiting for him. His house was dirty and messy, bottles and papers everywhere. The fridge was empty, except for some grilled toasts and tequila bottles.

Jack decided to get to the Church again, meeting the coffin again.

He arrived in five minutes. The Church wasn’t far from there. Jack parked the car and ran into the Church even if he was already wet through.

The Church was empty, except for the coffin. It was all dark but the coffin was lighted  with a feeble glimmer.

If he wanted to back to the start, start fresh, he had to say her goodbye and, meeting Kate that night, he understood he was ready to do that.

Jack walked to the coffin and put his big rough right hand on it, put his face down and closed his eyes.

“My life is a mess. I… I used to be happy… with you, we spent happy days together, but you know… we weren’t meant to be. There was a time I thought I could fall in love with you, but my heart knew that is wasn’t possible. You know that… Of course, you have always known that” Jack giggled “You were a friend to Kate, you knew how I felt about her…  But we did it, we made a mistake. We all make mistakes…” he began to cry  “Why haven’t you ever called me? We.. we could be friends.. I have always appreciated you, you are such a great woman… You helped me, you did so much for me… Thanks for all, I’ll never forget you.” Jack caressed the coffin “Good bye, Juliet”.

He turned around and went off the Church, without looking back.

In the very same moment the door of a big house, where a puppy named Sam lived, was opened:

“Hey Freckles, you are back” said a man.

“Yeah, Sawyer. I found the shop closed and had to go back”. She entered and the door was closed.